Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I'mma Signature rappaaa

I'm an unintenional amateur rapper:

I'm Dani P,

always have been always will be.

My rhymes keep flo'in

I won't stop goin'

till I blow your mind.

I rhyme all the time

without even thinkin'

My enemies are all shrinkin

they scared of me I got skills left and right

rappin' on the radio every night!


Yo Yo Check It.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Shakira would like to inform you that she has a wolf in her closet.

Since the embedding was disabled: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aEW_Z5Va5s


"HI GUYS! I'M SHAKIRA AND AS YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY HOT. Watch me in this abstract asymmetrical unitard pop and lock like I'm on America's Best Dance Crew. Do you think JC Chasez will approve? I hope my lipgloss is poppin'... OH HERE COME TRIPPY EFFECTS. I - DEFY - GRAVITY. Do you like my sparkly cave? OH, and in case you forgot: I'M SHAKIRA AND I'M HOT LET ME FOOL YOU BY MAKING YOU THINK I'M NAKED. DID IT WORK? DID YOU THINK I WAS NAKED? BECAUSE I'M NOT! APRIL FOOLS!

Also, in case you forgot that I am ethnic, here is some Bollywood for you. Did I mention that I'M SHAKIRA AND I'M REALLY HOT?"

Basically.

EDIT: Also, is it just me or did Shakira's image graduate from "I am exotic and alluring" to "I have herpes". I mean, if that's her new vibe, who am I to mock...

Monday, August 3, 2009

Fashion Faux Pas



Nothing brings a smile to my face faster than a celebrity wardrobe misfortune. Not malfunction, misfortune. With all that money, stylists on speed dial, and bodies of demi-gods they have very little excuse.

Which is why I have chosen to indulge myself by frequenting this lovely blog: http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/

I admit, if I were famous and adored by hundreds of thousands of people who hung on my every twitter update and blogpost I might be a little more daring with my fashion. Like a happily married housewife, I already secured their love so I can let myself go a little crazy. However, some outfits there are just NO EXCUSE for. To continue the analogy, It's the difference between "I've had 3 kids and gained some weight" and "Honey, we need a contractor to expand the width of our doorways." Some fashion faux pas are just an insult to our intelligence, and our devotion.



(...Just...No...)


Thursday, July 23, 2009


My Vanity Knows No Bounds:








Tuesday, July 21, 2009

"Don't start acting like you understand Quidditch. You'll just embarrass yourself." ~ Ginny Weasley



In the past 19 years of my life one thing has become clear: I lack athleticism. Pure and simple. My attempts at softball (much influenced by forced upon me by my father) left me pulling grass in the outfield. Basketball left me benched (and I really love basketball! I actually practiced constantly, and got to a point where I wasn't dog-awful). P.E. was my worst nightmare (I chose to walk around the gym for 45 minutes in order to get my grade, rather than grimace through a game of HORSE with La'Quisha and Ki'Ana). 

I have come to terms with this, however. I am good at other, much safer, activities. For instance, I've recently realized that I have quite the penchant for painting. Not painting rolling landscapes or dramatic bowls of fruit. But painting walls. I can put my paint brush to the plaster with the best of them. But I digress.

If there is any sport in this whole wide world that makes me feel a sting of ineptitude, it would be this:


In my mind I can see my self tearing across the field....cape billowing behind me...quaffle nimbly caught in hand.... aimed brilliantly through the goal.... 

Alas.



Wednesday, July 15, 2009

"I love a Good Knitting Pattern" ~ Albus Dumbledore




I saw Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince last night!!!  


A few points:

Positive: 

*Emma Watson acted brilliantly. She seemed much more natural and I enjoyed her performance quite a bit.
*Tom Felton played Draco magnificently. He seemed just as tortured as it described him in the book as being. 
*David Yates' directing was also brilliant. He has brought these movies to the point they need to be. Just enough artistic license, adds a bit of realism, humor, and the action is brilliantly done. Nothing is ever over done. Just enough.
*Rupert Grint was hilarious
*I liked that they cut the final battle scene. It wouldn't be wise to end two consecutive movies with big Hogwarts Grounds Battle scenes. It will make the end of the 7th much more powerful, for sure. 
*Adding the action in the beginning, showing the bridge collapse, was brilliant.
*The over all feel of the movie was magical and fun. I loved it as a whole.

Negative:

*Ginny & Harry's love story was incredibly awkward. They always acted so somber, as if they were attending a funeral, not in love with each other. And it seemed to come out of nowhere, very left field. If they had portrayed their story as the book did it would have been much better, lighter. Bonnie Wright and Daniel Radcliffe have no chemistry...it's all very forced feeling.
*which leads me to Bonnie Wright. Her acting....is unfortunate. Not bad. Just...very bland. Slightly monotone and expressionless. Not the energy I expect Ginny to have. 
*Once again Ron got jipped. They gave all the meaningful, heartfelt, powerful lines to Hermione's character. They completely played down Ron & Harry's close, brotherly friendship, and only had Ron be comic relief. Ron is funny, but he also has a lot of heart. and they just make him seem like the jokester who never says anything heartfelt or serious to Harry. Which is not the case in the books. But whatever. Hollywood stereotypes. Leading Man, Leading Girl, Sidekick.  


And I dressed up as Tonks, and my friends Rachel and Tim dressed up as Bellatrix Lestrange & the Golden Snitch (respectively):





Friday, July 10, 2009

Push



Watching Push with Dakota Fanning, Chris Evans, and Camilla Belle. 


I find something very disturbing about a teenage Dakota Fanning. I just wish these kids would stop going through puberty. It is creeping me out.

Aside from that, I am enjoying the movie. Camilla Belle has about 6 lines in the entire movie. She spends the rest of the time being incredibly important, looking thoroughly depressed & bedraggled, bleeding into a sink, and making out with Chris Evans. Good times.